Do you ever get mad when other parents tell your kid he did a good job when you know he clearly played half-ass? He probably played better than most players, but what happens when you feel he didn’t play to his full potential, yet other parents still praise him? This scenario can be incredibly frustrating. But let’s be honest. The core of this problem are your emotional reactions and expectations. Let’s finally get to the heart of this issue so you stop letting your emotions ruin your child’s soccer experience.
High Expectations and Frustration
As a parent, having high expectations for your child’s sports performance is understandable. After all, you’ve likely invested time and effort into helping them develop their skills and want to see them succeed. But when other parents compliment your child’s play, even when you feel they didn’t live up to their full potential, it can be incredibly frustrating.
In the original Facebook post, the parent expressed feeling “so mad” when other parents told their 15-year-old child that they “did a good job” when the parent felt the child was “playing half-ass.” The parent acknowledged that the child played well and better than most, but not to their full capability. This reaction is understandable but highlights a deeper issue many parents face.
The Critical Parent
The reality is, we often hold our own children to a much higher standard than others do. As one commenter astutely pointed out, “We are most critical of our own children.” This is because as parents, we see the daily grind of practice, the ups and downs of their development, and we know exactly what they’re capable of. However, other observers may see the end result on game day and be impressed by what they see, even if it falls short of your expectations.
The Toxic Environment
The problem with getting upset when others compliment your child is that it can create a toxic environment that does more harm than good. As several commenters noted, this kind of reaction risks damaging your relationship with your child and could even lead them to quit the sport altogether. After all, who wants to play feeling like a “huge disappointment” to their own parent?
Keeping Perspective
Instead of letting your emotions get the better, it’s important to keep things in perspective. Youth sports should be about having fun, developing skills, and building character – not living vicariously through your child’s performance. One commenter eloquently stated, “This is the kind of thing that makes kids stop playing.”
Constructive Approach
So, what’s the solution? First and foremost, you need to check your own expectations and emotions. Remember that your child is not a professional athlete, and they will have good days and bad days just like anyone else. The goal should be to encourage and support them, not to constantly criticize.
When other parents offer kind words about your child’s performance, resist the urge to lash out or correct them. Instead, say “Thank you” and move on. Your child doesn’t need you to be their harshest critic – that’s the coach’s job. As a parent, your role should be to build them up, not tear them down.
Encouraging Reflection
If you have specific concerns about your child’s performance, wait until you’re in a calm, private setting to discuss them. Ask questions like, “What did you think went well today?” and “What areas do you think you can improve on?” This allows them to reflect on their own performance and identify areas for growth rather than feeling attacked.
Take a Deep Breath
Ultimately, the key is to create an environment where your child feels supported and encouraged, not constantly judged. As one commenter aptly stated, “Build them up, don’t tear them down.” By doing so, you’ll not only help your child enjoy the sport more, but you’ll also strengthen your relationship with them in the long run.
So the next time you’re tempted to get upset when another parent compliments your child’s play, take a deep breath and remember – this is about them, not you. Focus on being a positive, encouraging presence, and watch as your child blossoms on and off the field.
